"THE ELEVATOR" E14
Tips to take you to the top!
Join me each week for a
Definition, Concept, Skill, Strategy, Technique or Tool
that will provide
Immediate and Lifelong Change.
YOU Achieve Your Mission &
Reach Your Maximum Potential.
A friend once shared some helpful tips with me on achieving change when change is the goal - losing weight, saving money, developing an exercise routine.
What about change that is not a choice, change that happens to us whether we want it or not?
How do we manage the loss, frustration, fear that may accompany the
gain, excitement & learning as a result of unasked for, but unavoidable change?
As we age changes occur that we expect, others that come without ever a thought turned in that direction. I have been a singer since the age of 3. I was pretty good at it too, winning awards in high school & fan appreciation (soldiers at Fort Knox, Kentucky
who cheered anyone female & attractive) during my wild & adventurous 20’s.
I continued to sing a little; frequently at weddings & of course at church.
Ten years ago, my self-identiy as a "pretty good singer" changed. I knew my voice was not what it used to be but until that Sunday I sang one last time in chruch I didn't know how much change had been thrust upon me. I sang a solo at church on 2 consecutive Sundays.
Each time my voice cracked & I had difficulty remaining on pitch (ha, I didn’t remain on pitch).
It was so painful (emotionally not physically) that after I sang on that second Sunday
I went to the bathroom cried & swore I would give up singing.
My daughter who has always disliked change married a Navy man (ironic). She moved across the county from Maine to WA after they married. She was beginning to feel settled when they moved to Hawaii for their next tour and changed locations again to Jacksonville Florida.
Thank goodness for cell phones & calling plans. She was wise enough to know that the discomfort she felt after the Hawaii move was temporary. That didn’t make it any less painful. She questioned whether she could go through it then or ever again.
Calling mom (me) helped, talking it out & shedding a few tears made it bearable & less scary. And being sad in paradise is better than in snowy Maine.
My 4 tools for managing unavoidable change:
Start expecting the unexpected.
We may not know what or when IT will be but we know there will be an IT eventually.
Set a time limit to acknowledge the loss & pain.
Don’t ignore it, it’s real. Cry; feel it for 5 minutes, 20 minutes, a day - then move on.
Plan ahead. Know who you can talk to to vent/what you can do. Then do it.
make the call, take a walk or eat the banana split. Do what perks you up & feel better.
Find the positive hidden in the loss. Concentrate on, explore & enjoy it.
Back to the singing. I followed my own advice.
(1) This revelation had been making itself known over time so I wasn’t shocked, only sad.
(2) I only cried for 2 minutes; it was enough for the moment. Leaving the bathroom I felt
better, feeling pain & loss days later, but better. I will sing again with lower self expectations.
(3) Having a column in need of a topic helped-I vented.
After each service people complimented my singing. They are sincere.
My voice isn’t bad, just not the quality I know that it used to be.
They don’t know that, only I do, so I say thank you & feel gratified that I make others happy.
(4) That’s the hidden positive & it has been enough.
Next week - CHANGE Part 2 - "Why Change is Necessary" bye til then, Marta
to provide training for your staff,
THIS WEEK: MANAGING CHANGE
WHEN CHANGE IS NOT THE GOAL!