"THE ELEVATOR" E19
Tips to take you to the top!
Join me each week for a
Definition, Concept, Skill, Strategy, Technique or Tool
that will provide
Immediate and Lifelong Change.
YOU Achieve Your Mission &
Reach Your Maximum Potential.
I provided a definition for Selfness last week:
Recognizing one's own need & fulfilling them without direct harm to another.
Time for an example.
Anyone who knows me knows I'm not a morning person.
When you ask me for a 8am ride downtown for an interview I say no.
I recognize my need for sleep and don't want to get up at 7am to fulfill your need.
It's not a selfish act because I am not responsible for your lack of transportation
unless I borrowed and wrecked your car. My answer then would have to be yes.
On the other hand when I realize tickets go on sale at 8am for a Barry Manilow concert I agree to take you because it benefits me. You benefit when I fulfill my own needs.
Now let's talk about selfishness.
Society says that when we put our own needs before others we are acting selfishly.
Definition: Selfishness is
an artificial ranking system appropriate in non-personal situations.
Artificial Ranking Systems incorporate selfish behavior
and necessarily exist in many forms and places.
In a classroom students line up by alphabet (A has more rights to get up than B - Z)
For pictures the tallest students get in place first and the shortest students last
On the job a senior employee gets to pick time for vacation before others do
The first car to arrive at a 4-way stop sign travels through first
Chaos would reign in the classroom, in the workplace and on the roadways without artificial ranking systems that provide order.
Other forms of artificial ranking include age, experience and educational degree.
As valuable as selfishness is in creating order in the nonpersonal world,
it has no place in their personal world.
In personal relations, selfness applies.
The techinque is to start saying yes to yourself.
In my personal life, with selfness I put my needs below no one elses.
I also expect no one else to put their needs below mine.
That's the skill. Practice it in your own life.
The Elevator is stopping at my floor so I'm off until next week. See you then.
THIS WEEK: SELFNESS VS. SELFISHNESS part 2
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