"THE ELEVATOR" E37
Tips to take you to the top!
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THIS WEEK: ANGER & PSEUDOANGER
First a few notes on anger and its connection to fear.
Unpleasant, unexpected, unfair and irritating events fuel the very real emotion of ANGER.
True anger is short lived.
Just as with a log fire when anger isn't fed new fuel it dies.
While anger and fear may result from the same situation, anger is seldom the primary emotion.
Because society teaches us to ignore fear, when only fear or fear & anger are present we often skip over the fear and only react with anger.
ANGER - a flashfire response to an immediate situation
when one experiences or may experience harm or danger.
Your small child, riding a scooter in the yard, suddenly rolls toward the street.
You reach him just before he rolls into the path of car.
When you reach him do you:
hug him and tell him how frightened you were for him?
Do you say how glad you are that he is safe?
Not likely, most people:
grab him, shake him, yell, demand to know why he's not more careful
and order him into the house.
Your FEAR has not been expressed as FEAR but rather as pseudoanger.
Even when you say how frightened you were
the tone of your voice and look on your face resemble anger more than fear.
And thus, the child learns to surpress fear; to express fear as anger as you did.
People today are not so much angry as they are afraid.
BULLIES AREN'T ANGRY - THEY ARE AFRAID.
pseudoanger - fear masquerading as anger.
Because society doesn't teach one to address fear:
one skips right over fear & reacts with false anger
because one is not able to
recognize, accept, or express the fear.
One can't rid one self of anger that doesn't exist.
When anger won't go away, when it lingers or festers -
check for the underlying fear that may be present.
For help with your own or others' anger & psuedoanger see
"Diffusion in 5 Sweeping Steps" on the CONTACTS/HANDOUTS/LINKS page.
Please forward/share this to others you know so they’ll grow right along with you.
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